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"Alcoholic Intervention: Should I use the term alcoholic? "
by Toby Rice Drews
by Toby Rice Drews
"Families sometimes ask if they have the right to say a family member is alcoholic. They ask this after they hear someone in a family recovery program say that "no one has the right to 'call someone' an alcoholic".
Probably someone said that in a meeting years ago-----and someone else took it for gospel because they 'heard it in a meeting'.
But what does it mean? It means that if you say no one has the 'right' to 'call you' an alcoholic------- then, in your gut, you feel itis a "name-calling".
Alcoholism is a disease or it is not. There may be a stigma about it, but we just contribute to the stigma by saying we can't 'call someone' an alcoholic.
How come I can 'call someone' a diabetic?
You know, it's amazing------------- we can plan to leave a marriage for the effects of a spouse's alcoholism on us--------but then we hear that we can't say that we're planning to leave for the reason that we're planning to leave??!!
What do we say?---------- "I can't name what you have, but I'm leaving you for it??!!"
Deep in our guts, it's very hard to believe it's a disease....... but if we don't break the shame--------the silence------- we continue the stigma. (And that means if our kids get the disease------- they have the stigma on THEM, too).
Now, it's true that in the final analysis-------the only diagnosis that will KEEP a person in treatment and/or A.A. is self-diagnosis. But hearing from others that one HAS the disease, can sure help crack through one's own initial denial!
This is a small excerpt from the chapter on 'intervention' in the "Getting Them Sober, volume 4" book-----------
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